


Sweetheart

by NanakiBH



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Awkward Tension, F/M, Forbidden Love, Holding Hands, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 14:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20047213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: She wanted to tell him.





	Sweetheart

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to write more for these two. Gotta start somewhere, so here's something sweet. The angst is real. But it's mostly sweet. Enjoy!

She hadn't seen him around the fountain lately...

That was weird. Strelitzia always used to see him there.

Had something happened...? It wasn't any of her business, but it was hard not to worry. That was her nature. Many other wielders passed through the town square every day, but that one boy somehow seemed different from the rest. She couldn't put her finger on why, but she just felt like there was something special about him. Maybe it was because the two of them were the same, letting themselves worry about other people's business.

People like that were rare. Strelitzia wished they weren't.

The unions seemed preoccupied with gaining strength and acquiring lux – but for what? Was competition that important? She didn't need that.

She already had the things she wanted. As long as her brother was there to welcome her home with a smile every night, she was happy. It was just a simple thing, but that was enough. She imagined that if everyone's desires were that simple, then there wouldn't have been a need for competition at all. The world would have been in harmony.

Was that naïve...?

Maybe.

That was why she couldn't find her voice. She couldn't communicate those thoughts to anyone because she knew that they wouldn't understand. She had a tender heart, and, too often, that tenderness was interpreted as weakness. As few as they were, there were other people out there who were like her and that boy, but she'd seen how difficult it was for them when they tried to speak up. People would rather fight than listen. It seemed like that was just the way things were, but she didn't want to accept that.

But that boy was different. They were the same, but he was stronger. Where she couldn't find her voice, he had the courage to shout.

Daybreak Town was certainly full of light, but it didn't feel that way. Light was more than just lux.

There was light in that boy's courage, in the tears he shed for strangers. Light was in the happiness she felt with her brother.

They didn't have to fight over it. Everyone was capable of making their own light.

She wished they would see that eventually...

As the sun began to set, Strelitzia reluctantly accepted that he wasn't going to show up. She was worried about him, but she knew that he was capable of taking care of himself. He had a good heart... And his medals were ridiculously strong, too! Even Lauriam didn't have that many good medals. She kind of wanted to tell Lauriam about that boy, but she got the feeling he might get the wrong impression...

That was okay, though. She kind of hoped that he'd get the wrong idea. For a number of reasons.

With her fingers linked behind her back, she looked over her shoulder and gave one last look back at the fountain before leaving.

In another lifetime, if she'd had the courage, maybe she and that boy could have been something...

It would have been nice if it'd been only her lack of courage that kept her from raising her voice. She wanted to know him, but she was afraid of letting anyone know her. Even from a distance, she felt the warmth of his heart, but her heart had already been overwhelmed by her brother's light. All she could show for herself were those naïve, pretty-sounding feelings... The truth was, there was no room left for anyone else in her heart. It was already filled to the brim and overflowing with love for Lauriam.

Those feelings put her in a troubling predicament. Even her Chirithy seemed to understand that something was wrong, even if he didn't say anything. That was very polite of him. If he saw her dreams, then he surely must have seen what was in her heart.

On her way home, her Chirithy stayed out of sight, probably reading the air, realizing that it was time she wanted to spend alone.

The spontaneous part of her wanted to turn around and start walking in a different direction, going far away until she lost track of herself and became someone else.

That same part of her wanted to run the rest of the way home and ruin everything, shouting out every unsightly thing in her heart before she even had the time to think rationally and reconsider.

She really was... naïve.

Her happiness was simple. Anyone could have found that kind of light within themselves...

But it was so easy to break.

Unfortunately, people didn't change that easily. Halfway home, she already knew that her lips would stay sealed and everything would continue the same way it always had with Lauriam being none the wiser. Her silence made her a liar, but it felt kinder than stealing away his image of her as the perfect little sister. That image of her may have been a lie, but it was who she wanted to be. She wanted to be the person he loved.

She wanted to stay pristine in his heart forever.

Was that possible? Knowing the secrets that were inside of her, just being near him made her feel like she would shatter.

As if the world were trying to test the strength of her, there he was, sitting on the steps in front of their door, expectantly waiting for her with a troubled look on his face. It broke her heart and made her so happy at the same time. For those two things, she felt awful.

Once he noticed her approaching, he tried to change his expression, to make it seem like he hadn't been as worried as he had been, but Strelitzia noticed the disappointment that had been preemptively waiting in his eyes. He must have seen many other girls pass by on their way home that night, none of them her. She raised a hand and waved, forming her lips into a smile. Seeing him always made her happy, so it shouldn't have been difficult to smile, and yet... The truth inside of her made it hard. She wanted to hurry up and forget about it.

But forgetting was impossible.

Lauriam pushed himself up and went to meet her, and the feeling of relief in his eyes made her heart swell. She loved how much he loved her.

“Sorry,” he said. “I hope you don't mind a late dinner. You weren't here, so I waited.”

Strelitzia shook her head. “No, I'm the one who kept you waiting, so I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't expect I'd end up being so late.”

She felt like she couldn't tell him what made her late even though it wasn't something she had to hide. She was curious about that boy, but she wasn't so invested in him for her attention to be called stalking, probably. They hadn't even met, so there was nothing between them. Lauriam didn't have to worry about it, but she could already see the suspicion in the crease of his brow, in the skeptical look he lowered at her.

Did he know...? She'd never mentioned him.

Lauriam had something to say, but he was holding himself back. Strelitzia wished he would've just said it; that spontaneous part of her was threatening to unseal her lips, to make her say something worse than whatever it was he had on his mind.

Paranoia.

She wanted to know.

“Come on,” he said, reaching out to gently brush her hair away from her eyes with the back of his fingers. “Let's go inside.”

Was that all...?

The ghost of his touch made her skin sting like a burn.

The longer she was unable to turn her attention from the secret things inside of herself, the more the things she loved began to hurt. Her heart took his pure intentions and warped them to match what she wanted them to be. At the deepest part of her heart, she didn't believe there was anything wrong with her feelings for him, but they needed to be mutual, otherwise...

“Okay,” she said cheerfully, taking his hand. She gave it a light tug, and the two of them went inside.

Inside the darkened doorway, she let go of his hand. They removed their shoes, and she watched his back as he went to the kitchen. Her thoughts seemed so much louder than usual, she thought for sure that he would have heard them.

She wanted to help him with dinner, but she felt she would have only been in the way. Her hands were shaking. She imagined herself dropping a plate.

She took a seat on her side of the kitchen table.

It seemed dark with just the light of a lamp. They never ate that late. That was her fault.

“Strelitzia.”

He stopped what he was doing at the stove and turned around to face her, but his gaze was downcast.

Strelitzia's heart froze.

“Yes?”

“Now, don't take this the wrong way, but...” He raised a hand, played nervously with his hair. “Is there someone you like?”

That question was innocuous. It was ironic – he must have been the one getting the wrong impression, just like she'd hoped. If he would never return her feelings, she wanted him to believe that there was someone else she liked. To save herself from the pain of a humiliating rejection, she wanted to bury even the chance of a happy ending. If she could do that... Then she could be just his beloved sister.

“What gives you that impression?” she asked, adorning her face with a curious smile.

“You've been coming home later than usual. I just thought-...” He looked up for a second, just long enough for their eyes to meet, then dropped his gaze again. He gave a small laugh to dismiss the question. “Never mind.”

He was so cute. It was obvious he was nervous.

She was, too. The atmosphere made her feel anxious. There was clearly something else bothering him, and she was afraid to find out what it was, but she also wanted to know. She needed to know. If she let it go, the paranoia was going to eat her alive.

“Why, are you jealous?” she asked, looking up at him. “Worried I'm going to get stolen away by someone else?”

She felt mean. Her question made him flinch.

“Didn't I tell you not to take it the wrong way...? That didn't exactly answer my question, either,” he said.

“If it puts your mind at ease, there's no one I care about more than you. I've just... been preoccupied lately. The party has been falling behind, so I've been trying to pick up the slack.” That was a lie, though. They were doing just fine. “You can rest assured that there's no place I'd rather be than right here with you.”

That part wasn't a lie.

“Is that so...”

But he didn't believe her?

“Do you need me to prove it?” she asked, trying to keep the mood light.

“How would you prove it?”

Did he really have to ask?

Well. If he had to, then she was happy to oblige.

Strelitzia turned her chair toward him and extended a hand, her palm invitingly raised. Lauriam looked at it. It wasn't strange for them to hold hands, so she wondered what it was that made him hesitate. At first, she was worried that he'd notice the clamminess of her palm, but his hand felt sweaty, too.

His hands were so big compared to hers... Whenever he held her hand, she felt safe. Yet, for some reason, at that moment, she got the feeling that she was the one comforting him instead.

She looked into his eyes and saw an unfamiliar hesitance there.

“I mean it, Lauriam. I don't know what has you so worried, but you can trust that there's no one in the world I care about more than you. You're my big brother.”

His fingers flinched.

“You're right,” he said, awkwardly removing his hand from hers. “I'm sorry if it sounded like I doubted you. I don't deserve a little sister as good as you.”

Those words sliced straight through her.

He really had no idea...

She was the one who didn't deserve him. If he knew what she was thinking, he surely would have felt differently. He would have been disgusted, repulsed. And even if he tried to hide it like the good brother he was, she would have been able to tell. He was bad at hiding his feelings.

“What are you talking about?” she said, her disbelief audible. “You're perfect. You don't have to do anything to 'deserve' me. Nothing can change the fact that you're my brother. You're the one who's always been here with me, watching over me. We're inseparable. You know that.”

“No matter what...?”

Feeling bold, she reached out and took the hand that hung limply at his side.

“No matter what,” she said, squeezing it tightly.

“Yeah,” he said absently, his voice distant as if his mind were somewhere else. Slowly, he placed his other hand over hers and stared at their joined hands. “No matter what.”

The hollow sound of his voice... The emptiness in his eyes...

Those things felt strangely familiar to her.

“Lauriam...”

Her heart was beating quickly. Her mouth was dry.

She was getting close to something dangerous.

“There's something you aren't saying,” she said. She'd been so brave until then, but she suddenly couldn't bring herself to look up anymore. “Is it... the same thing I'm thinking?”

“It can't be.”

“Are you sure? Your hands – they're trembling the same way mine are.”

What did that mean?

It didn't mean anything, not to her.

It would have shamed her if he knew truth, but her feelings for him... They wouldn't have changed. If he loved her in the same way she loved him, then, to her, he would have still been her precious brother, no different.

The light of happiness might have been a fragile thing, but the strength of her love for him was too strong to be crushed that easily.

Did he know that?

If he was silently suffering even a fraction of the anguish she felt, then she wanted him to know. No matter what, she'd love him unconditionally.

“I'm sorry, I-”

“No,” she said, holding his hand even more tightly. “Don't be. I also...”

He was silent, his words stolen by tears he tried to resist.

She understood. It couldn't be a picture-perfect moment like something from a movie. Their feelings, no matter how beautiful, were a light that couldn't be shared with anyone else. It had to stay inside, painfully hidden away. For that reason, she understood the brokenhearted look on his face. She didn't want him to experience the sort of pain she felt, and, like a good brother, he didn't want that for her, either.

If it could have been helped, she would have chosen to love someone else just so she never had to see him look so sad.

“Strelitzia... Did I go wrong somewhere?” He raised his other hand to his face and pressed his fingers against his eyes as if he could force back the tears. “Why am I like this? At the least, you shouldn't...”

She shook her head.

Gently, she released his hand and stood. In one step, she crossed the space between them and enveloped him in an embrace. She hoped that was enough. She'd already given him her most sincere words.

Even in that moment, full of bittersweet feelings, there was a faint happiness. She could have happily passed the night that way, just standing toe-to-toe with him, holding him in her arms with her cheek pressed against his chest until the morning light came to erase the two of them like shadows.

“Can I hear you say it?” she asked.

She heard him take a breath.

“I...”

Can't?

Shouldn't?

“I love you, Strelitzia.”

She asked.

She asked, but she hadn't expected him to really say it.

Her own tears, which had been waiting that whole time, finally fell down her cheeks.

“Lauriam...” She looked up at him through blurry eyes and a smile appeared on its own. “I love you, too. More than anything.”

“You were right. I was worried. I thought there might've been someone else who stole your heart.” He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. “I couldn't bear the thought. I'm pathetic, aren't I? You deserve to laugh at me.”

She did.

She laughed while squeezing him tight.

“Of course I'll laugh! You're so silly, thinking I'd be interested in anyone else. I'm surprised you hadn't noticed my feelings for you, to be honest. Sometimes, I felt so obvious.” She glanced aside, feeling a lump forming in her throat. “I still can't believe this is real. Is this really happening? I'm not going to wake up any second to realize it was only a dream, am I?”

He put a hand on the back of her head and gently stroked her hair. “I feel the same way. I wouldn't be surprised... And, in a way, I wish it were a dream... But I couldn't say no to you now. I only want to do what's best for you – but I would never want to break your heart. If this is what you want, I would dedicate my heart to yours forever, Strelitzia.”

She looked up at him.

“Forever...”

That was a long time.

Forever was forever, crossing over time and distance, going beyond death to the next life and whatever waited beyond that.

Forever meant the assurance that her brother's heart would always be with hers, truly, no matter what. Their love was different from that of others, so she had no doubt.

More tears coursed down her cheeks

“You'll really allow this dream?”

“It's my dream, too,” he said.

He brushed her tears away with his thumbs, ignoring the tears that fell from his own eyes. He really was still, above all else, the best big brother.

Overwhelmed with happiness, all she could do was hold on to him.

Her world had been changed significantly with just a few words, and yet... She got the feeling that they were still the same. Those feelings had always been there, simply unspoken. By eliminating the fear that stood in their way, they shined more brightly.

She smiled up at him and sniffled, smiling through her tears.

“I love you.”

She didn't want to wear it out, but she didn't think she'd ever get tired of saying it.

And Lauriam looked like he'd never get tired of hearing it.

He held her, nearly lifting her off the floor with the strength of his hug. He sniffled loudly, too, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder. “Strelitzia...! M-my Strelitzia...!”

She giggled ticklishly and patted the top of his head. “Alright. Come on, now. We'll never get dinner prepared at this rate. I'll help.”

With a bit of flustered red in his cheeks, he set her back down on the floor and gingerly neatened her clothes, treating her as delicately as a flower. The gentleness of his touch was filled with adoration for her.

The night carried on without any awkwardness. There were only bashful touches and shy glances. Moments of silence were comfortable.

She wasn't naïve, she decided.

Her impossible dream came true.


End file.
